


Bird Behavior

by BloodyBacon



Category: Layton Kyouju Series | Professor Layton Series
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Serial Killers, Consensual Underage Sex, Gay Sex, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Murder, Murder Kink, Sex, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-01
Updated: 2020-09-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:12:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26230177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BloodyBacon/pseuds/BloodyBacon
Summary: Clive is a weird guy with a stable life. He was having some issues controlling himself, so he decided to keep a journal of his day to day Life. He doesn't know if it'll do anything to help keep himself from severing his boss's head down the middle, but- it wouldn't hurt to try, right?
Relationships: Clive/Luke Triton
Kudos: 6





	1. Chapter 1

Clive sat back in his chair, well, he was currently being pushed back. A little girl with brown hair and a pantsuit, grabbing him by his shirt, angrily demanding answers for a question he had no answers for. Her glasses were misadjusted on her face, reflecting the light from the window into Clive’s eyes. She was smart like that, able to find infinite ways to make him uncomfortable. Very resourceful, versatile, A worthy opponent.

_ Dear diary, Today I was harassed for the seventh time by my arch enemy … a fourteen year old girl, but it would be wrong to treat her like any adult, and push her off of me, and tell her to keep her fucking hands to herself. I guess I still could, I just would have had to re-word it. _

“F-flora-” Clive said, standing up. She hung off of his shoulders, giving him the opportunity to pull her away from him. “You shouldn’t just burst into someone’s office! I deal with very classified information in here-” Clive said, and Flora just looked at him..

“Classified information like pictures of my mom?” She hissed, and Clive hummed … He set her down. Plucking the pair of glasses from her face. They were his own, and now he was in a little bit of a predicament. When she said pictures, which pictures did she mean? There were a few different sets, Flora tended to take things out of context. She wanted to be a little detective, and she’d picked Clive as her suspect. She had been getting herself tangled in cases, one after another, forcing everyone around her to constantly have to sit her down and explain to her the truth of the situation. 

“If it’s a picture of your mom, working at a crime scene, then you must know that it’s my job to document the scene, and that I can’t help it if her hand or something ends up in frame.” Clive said, assuming that those were the pictures she was talking about. If they weren’t, and she’d found something else, then he was done for … He honestly wondered why they let this brat run around the office. There was nothing else in this world that he hated more than kids. 

The door opened, and Dahlia, a higher up, Deputy police chief. She was also the proud mother of this wanna-be spy. Her hair was pulled up into a bun, she’d worn it that same way ever since high school. It was the one detail about her that never seemed to change, no matter how much her mind, or body did. Though, that was only something Clive would notice, as he had a strange infatuation with her. Not love, not romance, He was happily married … but … she had a perfectly symmetrical face. Even as she pushed her hair back, dressed the same as her little DIY Demon, she seemed very- well built? 

_ I felt like I was making myself look stupid thinking about it. Every time I see her face, I just get the urge to cut it in half down the middle. I hope that isn’t too weird, but then again, I don’t think I really care.  _

“I hope she isn’t bothering you. Flora, get your butt over here!” She said, and Flora huffed. Clive shook his head, cleaning his glasses off. “No worries, I love kids-” He said with a sigh, and Dahlia smiled. Flora cringed, which almost brought amusement to Clive, if she hadn’t bent his glasses by now. He didn’t have it in him to play, this seemed to be her go to strategy, making his day as minimalistically annoying as she possibly could. He guessed, She figured it would lead to an explosion. Clive was known for having them, he sort of- got a little too passionate sometimes, a little too angry … He adjusted his glasses, but they still didn’t fit right. “Did she break them again?” Dahlia asked, and Clive could see the fear on Flora’s face. 

“N-no! I didn’t!” 

“She bent them- like she always does-”

“He’s lying!” 

Clive shrugged. “It’s fine- though, that would make this pair number thirty seven.” 

Flora huffed, “You’re exaggerating!” She yelled, and Clive gave her a warm smile. “Am I? Do I really need to recap every single incident- The 37 i’m talking about is only  _ this year-  _ If you want, I can add the twelve from last year, and even include the ones that didn’t happen specifically in this office-” 

“Psycho! You keep tabs on me or something?!”

Dahlia flicked Flora’s forehead. “You need to understand that there are consequences for your actions. You can’t just do whatever you want, whenever you want. For christ’s sake, look where you are!” she said. 

Having a baby in highschool can do something to your psyche, something that Clive found interesting. This was one of those changes he noticed, as Dahlia gave her a gentle pat on the head, and left the room, explaining what things were and weren’t acceptable. Her idea of acceptable had certainly changed, He wondered what all had become a part of her list of unacceptable things … Things like calling someone a psycho. 

Not acceptable … but not exactly wrong. 

Clive sat back down as they left, and Dahlia shut the door behind herself. He looked around, and opened the only drawer that flora ever went through. She didn’t bother with the others, He’d filled them with manilla folders and things that would disengage a child right away. The drawer she looked through though, that one was the one he filled with interesting things for her to find. It was all just a game for him, a warm up exercise, a study of how a mind like hers worked. Interesting, it was interesting that of everything in the drawer, she still went for the most colorful things. He … kind of hoped that one day she would see him for what he really was, it’d make him proud. Sometimes it felt like training a detective, sometimes he found himself happy at her discoveries, even if it was something that got him in trouble, like his use of his phone at work. 

He could tolerate her, he guessed … even though he hated kids. He picked things out of the drawer, she hadn’t taken anything since that one incident when she stole his past ID to try and prove he wasn’t who he said he was, only for Clive to expose that the misprinted name was a result of her toying around with the copy machine. 

Embarrassment, another unacceptable thing for her and her mother, to never make mistakes that result in any kind of exposure … interesting. 

He closed the door, and looked up at the clock … 

_ It was only a couple of minutes … but I couldn’t really wait to get home. My husband, or- How I like to call him, My Dickwife, he told me not to eat anything. He was cooking a lot today, to celebrate our togetherness. I went along with it because I thought the idea was sweet, and cute, and his smile melted me as he pitched the idea, but in the middle of the day, I found myself unable to focus. I was thinking so much about his food that I wrote my name in as “Casserole” when asked to sign a few documents. If this clock could tick any faster … and as I thought that, I had an idea.  _

Clive stood, and reached up, taking the analogue clock off of his wall. He flipped it over, and sped it up to the appropriate time. He knew this was only a temporary fix, and he’d have to explain himself later, but it was worth it if he could get out of this office early. Luckily nobody paid attention to him, they never really looked at him, well … the women did, maybe one or two men. But- they were looking more between his legs, which was far below where he was putting the clock. Back up on the wall it went, and he gathered his things, straightening his suit before he made his way out of the office. Nobody questioned it, he got a few waves from the officers, they were always nice to him. 

  
  


“Hey! Hold up!” one of the more … patriotic officers asked. He was a tall man, brown hair that curled up at his shoulders. He also wore glasses, this entire office was full of people who were blind in one way or another. Clive just kept walking, “Sorry- I’ve gotta be home by four! It’s already three thirty!” he said, pretending to not hear Desmond corect him, that it was only three ten.

He’d just explain that his clock was broken, and apologise the next day, and they would forgive him.

Like everyone always did. 

Clive made his way over to his car, and finally, he was able to drop the act. He tossed his damaged glasses in the back seat. He didn’t actually need them, he just used them to hide his eyes. He looked at his reflection in his phone as he pulled it out. 

_ I had the eyes of a shark, maybe it was nature’s way of signalling to other people that I was … a shark. A predator in an infinite ocean of prey, the way the city was packed, I always have someone new to dance with. _

And dance he would. As soon as he got home. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


…

  
  
  
  
  
  


Clive carefully pushed open the door, just in case the boy was standing in front of it. After a stressful, annoying, mind numbing day at work, he gets the privilege of being greeted with a warm hug. He picked him up, and shut the door before anyone saw. “Lukeyy! I missed you so much!” He said, arms tightening around the only human being he could honestly say he would care for if he found dead in a ditch. Luke wrapped his arms and his legs around Clive, he was a sweet boy, with a kind heart and an intoxicating aroma of baked goods and clean laundry. His soft brown hair matched his eyes, and when Clive looked at him, he felt a little sting of … pain? He was under the impression that it was love, it was love that brought them together and love that keeps them together, but he couldn’t quantify it, so he was also under the impression that he was irrational … 

He just didn’t want the cure. He was happy like this, and Luke seemed happy too. “You’re home early! You didn’t skip work did you?” Luke asked, and Clive looked away, setting him down. “My clock said it was time to leave- so I left- What time is it?” He asked, and Luke paused for a moment. He was dressed without his shirt, but he had on some shorts, and some socks. His chest was covered by his apron, which … made him pretty irresistible. “It’s three fifty! Did you cut through traffic?” 

“ … ah- no- Maybe my clock was wrong and I got a little bit of a head start-” Clive said. Luke smiled, “aw- but i’m not done yet! Wait here- and no peeking!” Luke said, walking off. As he did, Clive could see the beginning of what looked like red lingerie …

He turned a little red, and walked towards the couch. If he could control his impulses, then maybe he wouldn’t have to wait for Luke to get done cooking. Though, he preferred to wait in the comfort of his own home, sitting down on his brown couch, in their heavily decorated living room. Clive hummed, a little smile coming to his face at the thought of being transported to his house every single time he was forced to wait at the office. All the things he and Luke could get done, or not get done, the more time they had together, the better. 

Luke was a twelve year old boy, and the love of Clive’s life. He hated kids, but when it came to Luke, he just couldn’t control it. Clive didn’t like to think of himself as a creep, or a predator in that sense of the word. There was nothing … sexually wrong with him, He just liked to think that love truly is blind as a bat that uses echolocation but has feet for ears. 

To Clive, this boy was his life, he lived for Luke, literally. If Luke wasn’t around then Clive would have no reason to be here. He works for Luke, he wants to be able to do things with him, go places, surprise him with things, make him happy. Luke wasn’t shallow, he never asked or cared how much money Clive made or had. He never complained when he couldn’t get something, even if he was noticeably upset, but who wouldn’t be at least a little bit upset? Clive just wanted to be able to provide him with anything he wanted, and Luke didn’t even ask for much. 

Luke just wanted a place to live, a warm bed to sleep in, food to eat, and to be safe. He really, really, desperately wanted to feel safe, and what could be safer than living with someone like Clive? Who worked in the police force, and had proven that he wasn’t one to be messed with. Luke had seen it with his own two eyes, in fact, it’s how they came to be. Clive beat the absolute shit out of a man he’d been tracing forever, he was so angry, he felt for the first time that someone had outsmarted him, but it turned out to be some fucking clown drug dealer with a fine taste in little boys. 

Luke watched it happen, he was one of the few who witnessed what Clive referred to as an explosion, but- Instead of being afraid … he found comfort in it. That was what Clive loved about Luke, his acceptance, Luke was very merciful, an angel, a real life angel who had been through so much. At first, Clive didn’t see himself getting close to him, after all, he hated kids, but this one … well, He was different. 

_ At least that’s what I tell myself, otherwise it’d be pretty hard to sleep at night, wouldn’t it? _

After a while of waiting, and almost falling asleep, Luke finally called out for Clive. 

Clive got up, he really couldn’t wait to ask Luke how he’d been doing today, and how he felt now that they were really together, and where he wanted to go this weekend so they could have their honeymoon. 

But none of those words came out as he walked into the kitchen, seeing Luke timidly laying there, legs wide open, multiple plates and bowls of food surrounding him. 

“I don’t feel like washing dishes, s-so- I’m - the plate-” He said … and Clive didn’t respond for a moment. His brain shut off, because not only was this extremely sexy, but he was really fucking hungry, and the thought of licking Gravy out of Luke’s belly button made his mind shut off. 

He grinned, “Is this what you’ve been up to while I was gone? I’m impressed” Clive said, slowly making his way over to the table. Luke was red in the face, but he was comfortable enough to do this, and that just- made the ice in Clive’s soul melt a little bit. Luke reached up, pulling Clive down by his tie as his other hand grabbed a piece of chicken, stuffing a torn piece of it in his mouth. 

“ If you Clean your plate, you can have some dessert” Luke said, watching Clive eat. This was the moment of truth, was his food good?

Judging by the look on Clive’s face, and the way he began biting, and drooling on his neck, Luke figured it was safe to say that it was. He picked up a piece of pie, eating it while he himself was devoured. “Don’t forget about the real food now! I worked hard~” Luke said, and Clive pulled away just in time to see him letting dressing pile up on his stomach. 

“Is this enough? You can always have seconds” Luke said, and Clive, once again, was left speechless, He leaned down, purposely scraping his teeth across Luke’s stomach. It was all just- so good. Though, Clive was more horny than hungry now, so after he licked Luke clean, he immediately let his tongue slide between his legs. 

Luke- tasted a little like pineapple- Clive groaned, making the boy arch over the table. “”Hha- C-Clivee!” Luke said, tugging at his hair, Clive lifted his face, being spoon fed some mashed potatoes. The look in Luke’s eyes, Clive just- “ I love you-” He mumbled with his mouth full. Luke smiled, and continued to feed him, making sure he got some actual eating done between all of this messing around. Clive had a bad habit of trading food for sex, he’d come home and plow luke into the mattress as many times as he wanted, and completely forget that he was supposed to eat, 

_ I have no idea what the hell i’d do without him! He’s absolutely perfect! In every way! I just wish I could kiss him all over, every single day, give him the world. All the work he does for me, he deserves it.  _

Luke stuffed his own face while Clive continued to eat off of him. Laying on a shaky table like this, they were gonna spill something in a second, but Luke didn’t really care, he’d clean it later. He swallowed, and Clive pulled him closer to the edge of the table. His clothes were dirty, but it didn’t matter. The sight of him taking his jacket off was always a nice one to see. 

_ As I was looking down at him like this, I could only think, ‘ he’s beautiful’. It wouldn’t make a difference if he was ten, nine, eight, or thirty two. It wouldn’t change what I would have done when we first met, and it wouldn’t make me want to do what I was about to do any less. And for anyone that judges me, I have to ask, If you loved someone, and you’d do anything for them, and it would kill you to see them leave …. Would you forbid yourself from loving them? From loving someone who didn’t know as much as you did, for fear of taking advantage of them? No matter how much they loved you back, no matter how strong your connection is, and no matter how right it felt? Of course you wouldn’t, you wouldn’t even think about it, because that’s what love does. It didn’t let me see any of that, so when I got inside of him, and he let out that sweet sound of sensual pleasure, my mind wasn’t filled with the possible consequences. Because there is nothing that could outweigh the reward of getting to love him, and letting him love me. When you’re willing to die for someone, everything else becomes irrelevant … and only then should you think about calling someone your husband.  _

“Cwive!” Luke nearly yelled, by now, Clive was thrusting into him, shaking the table, feeling him contract. Luke yelled his name, and he only got harder. He reached down, cupping Luke’s face, watching his eyes immediately close as he took it all in, and let the indulgent feelings that came with having sex consumed him. He let it take over, and it felt good, because it was his choice. He got to pick and choose when and where and how he had sex and who he did it with. He’d luckily picked someone who knew what they were doing, and did it well. Did him well, had him arching his back, unable to think as his heart skipped around happily. He was flooded with happiness, he didn’t know what to do, so he let it out in the form of tears. He cried, holding onto Clive’s arms, sobbing as he got close to his edge. The feeling of it going in, and coming out, knocking against his walls, it made his stomach throb. 

Clive always got a little worried when Luke cried like that, he could never tell if he was hurting him or not, but usually he wasn’t. Luke was just emotional, and it was beautiful. Even when his face contorted, and he couldn’t stop sniffling, and he was aggressively yanking at Clive’s sleeves. “Ahha- hhnnghh-” Luke grunted, Poor baby, he was having a little bit of a hard time finishing. Clive had told him before, it was impossible to force it out, he had to have something else bring it out, which was why Clive learned to just shut up and do it himself. He reached down, sliding his hands over Luke’s chest, pulling and squeezing, rubbing his nipples. Luke turned red, biting his lip. He was grinding a little. Which meant it still wasn’t enough. 

Clive started to go further down, but, then he remembered that occasionally Luke didn’t mind playing rough, and he’d probably get a little bit more enjoyment out of satisfying his own kinks, rather than rubbing it out. Clive shoved his hips forward, taking Luke’s wrists, almost like he was playing paddle ball with his body. 

“ _ Louder, let the neighbors know my name _ ” He said, and Luke lit up, tightening oh so good around Clive. He started yelling, dripping hot tears onto the table as Clive squeezed his wrists. “ You can get louder than that! Or is this not enough? Maybe you need some encouragement-” He said, turning Luke over onto his side. 

Luke opened his eyes, whimpering as a finger found its way into that other hole. He really got into it, but he was a naturally soft spoken person, so it wasn’t like he really got much louder. Clive didn’t stop though, he could feel his own orgasm rapidly approaching, but he held on, wanting Luke to cum first, or at least for them to go at the same time. 

_ I don’t remember how long we did it for, I kept switching positions, and at some point, I thought something was wrong. I got a little worried about him, honestly, but then, in a beautifully sacred moment, Luke came, and I almost let loose inside of him. The way he moaned, and held onto me, I struggled to unlock his legs from my waist, I’m still not even sure if I pulled out in time, glazing his stomach as I held his legs, and we both groaned like feral creatures. I immediately wanted to do it again, but my stomach growled, and Luke looked up at me with a sort of motherly concern. _

Clive stopped, being fed a piece of pie. “ let’s eat first, then we can go have a bath, yeah?” Luke asked. He could see Clive getting ready to protest, but … he was hungry. Really hungry, and so he ate with Luke, cooling off after their adventure. Today had honestly just become perfect, as Clive used a napkin to wipe Luke off, he thought about their future, and where things could go from here. 

He also resisted the urge to say he loved him, he wanted to show it. Actions speak louder than words, right? 

  
  
  
  
  
  


…

  
  
  
  
  
  


But if that were true, then Luke would be on to him by now.

_ I laid in bed for a while, and Luke slept next to me. As of now, I’m finishing up my entry. I’m not sure if this is actually going to help me keep myself under control, I think Luke might just want to spy on me. Maybe he wants to know more about me, and that's why he suggested I keep this journal. Luke, if you are reading this, then I hope you don’t find me talking about our sex weird or something … I get the feeling it might turn you on though. So just in case, there’s a couple paragraphs in the back, go nuts. _

And with that … Clive put his journal away. He was taking Luke’s advice, but he wasn’t gonna keep a journal with his actual private thoughts in it. Things he couldn’t think about in public, and things he hid from even himself … 

_ Dear Diary, or, should I call you my book of shadows? Today was eventful, I laid in bed, watching Luke sleep for a while, playing with his loose strands of hair, occasionally kissing him, watching him smile even in his sleep. I’m not much of a writer, but I could write about him all day long … but, back to the subject at hand. I got up eventually, and got dressed. Packing my bag. I had to tell Luke that I was working at an automotive shop, it was the only way I could explain my strange smell, and my bag of tools, and the stains that were just too hard to remove. He didn’t question it, he’s a good boy, a good wife, perfect for me. Maybe it’s a little … sexist? But I prefer him to not ask me any questions, and not demand answers. I appreciate that he leaves me alone about subjects that I choose not to elaborate on, because god knows nobody else will. Or maybe he just doesn’t want to infect himself with the knowledge of where i’ve been. Maybe it’s easier for him to turn the other way … but either way, once I arrived at my little shack of believe it or not horrors, I got to work.  _

Clive paced the room, there was a man tied upside down by his ankles, in a straight jacket. Clive was wearing an actual mechanic jumpsuit, more like- janitor clothing? The room was saran wrapped, and he was prepared to just use this guy as a punching bag, but … for some reason, he couldn’t bring himself to. 

The man in question, his name was Arnold Harris, and he was a convicted pedophile. He escaped prison, and lived as a sort of free man for a year and a half, in that time, he hadn’t committed any crimes at all. He was found living in a dirt shack, by Clive, who … honestly- was going to move into that shack, make it his new base of operations … but now he couldn’t do that. Because this … deplorable cretin lived in it. They had a moment. A moment where they awkwardly looked at eachother, before Clive arrested a man, sitting on the floor, eating cheetos in his underwear … 

“I still don’t understand why you were living in there. Why not get out of the country?” Clive said, mostly just disturbed by the sight of the guy’s dick slipping out of his briefs. Gave him a heart attack … 

“I just … wanted to get away from it all, I swear I wasn't doing nothing bad-” The man said. His orange hair and freckles, they made for rather cute qualities. In fact, the man was rather good looking so … 

“Why … children?” 

“I … I- I don’t know! I know it’s sick- but I wasn’t trying to hurt em!” he said. Clive hummed … The victims, they spanned from the range of seven years old, to seventeen years old. Male, female, most of them acquired through online chat rooms, and apps like instagram. The victims … weren’t actually physically harmed. They had just- they’d all been tricked into having sex with this man, so they were all a little mentally … warped by it. It was only until a mother noticed her daughter’s strange behavior that the police got a tip about an instagram account that was … violating terms of service. 

Finding the man had been a complete coincidence. Clive sighed, and nodded, “So, what kept you from doing it lately?” 

“ … Guilt, even if I didn’t break their legs or- punch them I still ruined their lives- I still fucked them up and I’ll never be able to undo that-” the man said, and Clive … nodded. “Ah, well, seems like you’ve learned your lesson …” Clive was rolling his eyes a little. A classic trick, reflecting on your mistakes, telling the person exactly what they're thinking. This guy wasn’t stupid, but he didn’t think he could get past the master of deception did he? It was almost like he was urging Clive to play mind games with him, and Clive went right along. “ did it feel good?” He asked, and the man seemed to stop … he couldn’t come up with a socially acceptable response, so he just did the socially acceptable thing, and told the truth. 

“Yes.” 

“And you’d do it again?” 

“I wouldn’t!”

Clive hummed … “there’s no reason to lie, I’m … just like you, I love kids- and everything about them” 

_ I lied, I needed to get him to tell me the truth. I wanted to hear him say it with his fat, dick sucking lips. I wanted to hear him tell me the truth, so that his last moments wouldn’t be spent hiding behind the rules of society’s arbitrary good and bad. I wanted to set him free, make him clean. Killing animals before you butcher them was the humane thing to do, and If the animal is his urges, then to kill the animal, I must set it free. Urges only exist when they’re caged, unable to escape. If you do it, or express it, then it stops being a pent up desire, and you learn to control it … this is information that could save lives, but- i think i’d be killed for uttering these words to anyone. _

The guy eventually went along with Clive’s fake narrative of being just like him. “What’s wrong with us? We know it’s wrong but we just- can’t stop! God can’t be real, why would he make us like this? To want to hurt innocent people- I refuse- I won’t hurt anyone else!” 

Clive stood … 

_ I wasn’t a believer, I had tried every religion, including the self indulgent satanism. I wasn’t a part of any religion, and I didn't identify with any political parties. For some reason though … hearing this guy go on and on about how much god had done him wrong, hearing him denounce what was probably his own religion, and look to me for support, as if we were brothers in arms … fascinating. I’d observed this with many other people, if you give a person the opportunity to connect with you, over something desperate, something they couldn’t ever share with someone else … Interesting things begin to happen.  _

“Well, i’m not very theistic either, but- let’s consider the possibility that there is a god.” Clive said, stalking towards the man. “People like you, people like me, we have to try hard to keep these little things in control. We have to do our best to not hurt anyone. People who don’t feel these things, they preach about how good they are, how much better they are than us … but they don’t have to do any work, their opinion of us is useless, and baseless.” Clive said, grabbing a pair of scissors from the metal cart to his side. “They don’t have to make the conscious decision to be good, they don’t fight like we do, they’re spoiled, out of touch, but you and I … we’re the superior ones. The ones who can keep it together under pressure. We suffer in silence, but we reap the rewards of actually getting satisfaction out of being a good person, because we earned it … I believe this is the way all humans should be. There should be a reward for being good, if a god exists, then why should goodness come naturally? Doesn’t that defeat the purpose of autonomy? Having an urge but deciding that you aren't going to. Because  _ You _ don’t want to, because  _ you  _ don’t think it’s right to hurt someone else over your own selfish desire. That is freedom, that is worth praise, don’t you think?” Clive asked … 

The man nodded … he seemed much less afraid of Clive now, the illusion of trust was an easy thing to build, but a hard thing to maintain. It began to face as Clive picked up a syringe. 

  
  


“This was a good talk, yes?” Clive asked. The man nervously looked at him, and Clive smiled. The man nodded … it had been a very relieving conversation, but now there was the other issue, “So- uh-” He started, “Are you gonna let me go?” He asked. Clive hummed … and stuck the needle in the man’s neck. “ Well, in a sense, yes-” Clive said. 

“H-Hey!” 

“Shh … there there, it’s going to be alright-” Clive said, picking up a scalpel. 

“I can't feel my fashe!” the man began to panic, and thrash, but soon, that numbness spread throughout his whole body. Clive nodded, “I want you to watch me kill you, you might not be able to feel it, or move, but neither could those kids. Victims of rape often go into a state of shock, some lose feeling, most lay there unresponsive. This is just a little taste of what you made them go through.” 

“Mude er her!” 

“Mm … not all murders are equal. Seeing the world in terms of black and white is for the unintelligent, the unwilling, the incapable. I’m … a Janitor.” Clive said. 

_ I didn’t know what to call myself when I said that, I hadn’t thought it through enough. The custodian of life, street cleaner, purifier, equalizer, I still don’t know. But what I do know, is that I hate the term Murder. It’s such an emotionally charged word, it often leads people to jump to conclusions, and miss out on the logic of the situations. Not all murderers are bad people. A cop who kills a man that has a woman and her children at gunpoint wouldn’t be labeled a murderer, he would be a hero. A victim of abuse who kills their abuser wouldn’t be labeled a murderer, they would be brave. A man killing to defend himself, to defend his life, or to defend someone else’s life shouldn’t be labeled a Murderer. Could you honestly say that he should have been set free? Or put in prison where there is a chance he could escape again? No. You would ask that he be executed. Well, I did you a favor. You’re welcome.  _

Clive shut the book, and looked up. It was the next day, and He was back at work. Dahlia was explaining the situation to him. 

“I’ve got another case for you, If you aren’t busy in court-” She said, handing Clive a file. 

_ As I write this, I realize I've forgotten to explain my job, or, jobs. One of them is to gather evidence, I take pictures, I get paid to … be creepy. Steal things, you get it. I’m also a prosecutor, The court is sometimes like my stage, where I get to dance with these people in the confines of the law. This woman is my next partner in the Legal Tango, A rich lady who was last seen in her mansion on the hills … a woman with a very symmetrical face.  _

_ Perfect.  _


	2. Tomato Bud

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luke's flowers are bulging and green, he suspects something is wrong with them. The murderer turns out to lead to a rabbit hole, one that Clive is going to have to find a way to explain.

_ My adorable little husband is watching me now. As I sit at my desk and play around with the tooth that I collected from that man. I enjoy teeth, the thought that you can be identified by your dental records just as much as you could from a fingerprint, It’s interesting. There are so many things that make a human body unique, yet people constantly push the narrative that we all look the same, or we should all be the same. I’d rather embrace the differences, instead of denying their existence. I told Luke these were animal teeth, shining under the light of the desk lamp ...He’s been watching me all day long, and I don’t know why. I don’t keep secrets from him, honestly. If he really were to ask me what I’ve been doing, I would tell him … but he always accepted my first lie. _

Clive turned, seeing Luke flinch out of sight from the doorway. He tilted his head, and hummed, listening to Luke run away … His footsteps were so soft, like the sound of a pillow hitting a bed. Soft little pats against the floor as he ran off. Clive could only wonder what he was doing. He put the tooth away, and hid the box in a locked drawer in his desk. 

He took out the case file, and Luke came back into the room, holding his flower pot. “Clivee! What is this?!” He asked, in a panic. Clive turned, the once yellow flowers that Luke had planted were now green, and bulging. “It’s gonna throw up!” Luke said, and Clive just … stared at it for a second .. 

_ They were tomatoes. But the thought that his pet tomato plant might throw up, or was sick, was a little amusing to me. I admit, I shouldn’t have gone along with it, but I decided to humor him _ .

“Yea- It looks sick, what are you gonna do?” Clive asked, and Luke looked down at the plant … “Um-” He said, before huffing, “M-Maybe it needs less water? Or- plant food- do plants need medicine?” Luke asked, and Clive shrugged. That was a really good question, which he didn’t have the answer to. 

“Why don’t you look it up? You can use my laptop-” Clive offered, and Luke’s eyes lit up. It was that look that a lot of little kids had, the, “I’m gonna download so many games!” kind of look, but that was fine, honestly. Luke stepped over to the device, and turned it on, telling his plant not to worry because He was just as good of a detective as his brilliant husband was. His husband who wasn’t  _ really  _ supposed to be doing what he was doing, but he was good at finding evidence, so they let him. He often took it upon himself to steal from criminals … He’d figure out a reason why it was justifiable later, but right now he was staring at his case file. 

“ … Hey- I think- I think these are tomatoes!” Luke said. Clive wondered where he’d gotten the seeds for a tomato plant, and how he planted it without knowing it was a tomato plant, but he just nodded along as the boy brought his evidence over. “I wanna put them in a bigger pot! Then we won’t have to buy tomatoes anymore, can you get one?” Luke asked, and Clive nodded, looking at the web page. It had all kinds of things about tomatoes and other fruits on it.

“Do you want me to pick up some actual flowers while i’m at it?” He asked, and Luke gave him an excited nod, returning to the bed. Clive listened to him type, he was probably playing crossy roads or some other game that came on windows 10. Either that, or he’d downloaded something, and now he was really invested in it. Clive returned to his files. The woman, she lived pretty far away, and Clive didn’t intend on bringing back any evidence, no, he fully intended to dissect this woman, to chop her up into tiny bits and pieces. He was looking at the pictures he’d been given of her, thinking about which part to cut up before he finally split her face in half … He should probably get going if he wanted to find out more about her for an actual trial, and frame someone else for her murder. He needed to know her life inside and out, when did she sleep, when did she eat, what does she do, does she live with anyone? With looks like this, and a criminal record as nasty, Clive figured she must live alone …

For a second, the thought crossed his mind that she could be like him … but she’d been caught, so that wasn’t the case. 

_ At that point, I was stuck daydreaming. I didn’t really know where I was supposed to start, but I figured simply showing up at her house would be a bad Idea, with that much money, she probably had all kinds of security. No, I needed a way to get her to let me inside. Either that, or I needed to find a blind spot … either way, apparently her victims were men around my age, men that she’d allegedly meet in this one gross bar at the edge of town … So I went.  _

  
  
  
  
  
  


…

  
  
  
  
  
  


Clive sighed, having not expected to get drunk. He’d waited until Luke went to sleep, and he made his way here. Tracking the credit card usage of that woman was easy. She’d go to the convenience store, buy a couple things like bandages and peroxide, and then go to the bar … as if that wasn’t suspicious. The bar was dimly lit with neon lights, and the aroma of food hurt his nose. Compared to Luke’s home made food, made with years worth of love, anything else was vomit inducing. Clive rarely ate anything that Luke didn’t make, for one, he didn’t trust people, people were disgusting. He could trust Luke though, Luke never really even went outside, unless it was in the backyard to go play in his garden, or water his plants, or plant more flowers, but he always washed his hands! These people probably didn’t. Secondly, He was a little bit on edge about eating food when he had no idea where it came from.

Clive sighed, alcohol was a different story, he was pretty sure all alcohol was contaminated somehow, dirty, but he found it hard to believe any harmful bacteria could live inside of it. Maybe he was wrong, he didn’t know, and he was too drunk to care. He snapped out of it though, when a shot came his way.

He looked down at it, clear liquid, like runny crystals from the diamond mines. The bartender grinned, “Lucky, it’s from the lady down there-” He said, going back to whatever he was doing before. Clive looked at the drink, and lifted his head … he squinted, and looked at the woman sitting at the end of the bar. She was reserved, purple hair and soft eyes. They looked pink, probably contacts. Her eyebrows were raised a little, and there was a smile across her pink-ish- plush lips. She was pretty … 

_ Dear Diary, the one that Luke won’t find. For the first time in a while, I had the urge to undress a woman. No matter how I describe my thoughts at the moment, It’s probably going to sound sexual. It’s not. In that moment. Despite the fact that I returned her seductive stare. The only reason I have for picturing her naked, was that I was thinking of which way to cut her open. I was also thinking of maybe finally trying human flesh, I’d yet to eat someone, and my hunger only grew as I observed her. The thing about women is that the excessive grooming standards pushed onto them by society meant that they were clean. I would be after seventy scented showers every single sunrise. Which part should I eat? She had such full thighs, they were bursting out of her stockings. If I cut her chest open, would there be liquid inside?  _

Clive’s staring probably came off as horny, it was definitely a little sexually charged, even if he denied it. He might not have been attracted to her, but he was certainly attracted to the idea of killing, and possibly eating her. He got up at her command, a single finger coiling like the neck of a snake. 

“Come to me,” it said. 

He walked over, and she smiled, “Didn’t want the drink?” she asked. Of course he didn’t, who knows what she may or may not have put inside of it? “Can’t get too drunk, who’s supposed to drive us home?” 

“Ooh- bold- I like it-” 

_ I don’t understand how certain things can come so naturally for me when i’m intoxicated. Maybe I should just get drunk every time I have to interact with someone.  _

Clive sort of leaned against the counter, he was a little tired, he hoped he didn’t come off as looking uninterested. Not that he was interested. “So, I bet I can guess your name~” Clive said. A little messing around, just to get her to cough up some information. She smiled, “Really? Are you psychic or something?” 

“Maybe- I bet it starts with an S doesn’t it~?” 

“Ooh … It does!” She said, wonder plastered on her face. It was a little cute, honestly. Reminded him of Luke. “The next letter is probably an O- right?” 

“Wow, how do you know?” 

Clive shrugged, “I’m just going off the curves on your body, they spell your name out in cursive, it’s beautiful. S- O- P- H- I- and A-” He said, dragging his hand down her side. Her face was red, but she seemed impressed. “Where does the A come from? And The I- those are straight letters-” She said, and Clive looked at her. “ I have no idea- I’m drunk.” 

She snorted, “You’re so weird! But yeah, that’s right...” 

“It is? I was just guessing, so your name is Sophia?” 

“Mmhmm, And yours?” 

_ I remember debating for a split second on whether or not I should tell her my real name, but then, I realized that it wouldn’t matter. She would be gone soon. In fact, all her flirting was fake, I knew I wasn’t just suddenly good at talking. She was leading me on, and it kind of worked, because I thought genuinely for a second that she’d fuck me before she killed me. I was wrong though, maybe a little too confident. All those drinks went right to my head.  _

“Clive-” 

“Clive …” She repeated. 

_ At that point, she put her hand on my face, and I may or may not have gotten scared. I haven’t had an adult touch me in a while, it was a little intimidating, so I just let her take the lead. (She would have had to eventually. I think I have a little bit of a communication problem when it comes to stuff like that) _

“Let’s go to my place, sound good?” She asked, and Clive nodded, being pulled from his chair. “I want you to lay down in the back seat, alright?” She said as she held onto his hand, making her way out of the bar with him. He agreed, but he didn’t know why exactly she was asking for a thing like that. It felt … like a pretty specific detail, lay down in the back. 

Actually, No, that was a perfect Idea. 

_ I got into the back seat of her car. My mind was still swarming with the idea of cutting her open, but I needed a secure place to do it. I figured that the back seat of her car would be the perfect place. Nobody would question her screaming, or the rocking. Or me even getting into the vehicle. A quick search around showed that there were no cameras, or people. Perfect, she had set this up herself. She had created her own death trap.  _

He ended up getting into the car, Refusing to let go of her. He pulled her inside, and shut the door with his foot. 

“Hey! Patience!” She said, adjusting her hair. “We’ll get there- but you’d better-” She went quiet, and flinched away as Clive pulled a rag out of his pocket. She looked up at his face, which was dead. He’d turned the facial expression switch off, it was getting a little tiring. Smiling, responding, paying attention. She let out a muffled scream into his hand, which he kept pressed against her face. She didn’t struggle for too long … and then she was out. 

_ I’m lucky people think these dead shark eyes are cute, I sat there for a moment, observing her … I was lucky she picked me. I’m not sure what it is that people find so attractive about me, but i’m thankful to have it. Though, if I wanted to witness her symmetry for myself, now I had a chance. Her windows weren’t tinted, but nobody was gonna say anything. Naked woman in the back seat of her own car, getting some action. That’s what they’d think … but I still didn’t do it. I think I might have been too afraid, or embarrassed to look.  _

Clive felt around her body, searching for a wallet. He wasn’t just not gonna steal her money, why not? She was going to die anyways, what use did she have for it? Turns out, she kept hundred dollar bills in there … she must have grown up rich. There’s no way any normal person would carry this much cash. She was also wearing a really pretty necklace. It looked like rose gold, He pulled it off of her. It would look better on Luke. 

After a while, he got into the front seat, and finally pulled out of the parking lot. This case was easy, but that was rare, the next case would probably take a while to set up. For now, he was just going to dump her body in his house of wonders, Maybe he’d stick her in a pillory to freak her out, make her panic. Then he’d swoop in with his false hope like always, and she would most likely fall for it. Clive wondered if she had some sort of justification, maybe someone did something to her, or maybe she was like the other guy, and it just felt good to kill. Clive stopped a little too hard at a light, he had been paying too much attention to his thoughts, and not enough on the road. Her body rolled forward, and she fell to the floor of the car with a loud thud … oops. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


…

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


_ I returned home, went to sleep, and got up to go to work the next morning. Once I arrived, I was hit with strange news. Our suspect had gone missing, but the murders were still happening. _

“I just- can’t believe it! My mom is never wrong! And this lady just disappeared! How are boys still dying?” Flora asked, pacing around Clive’s office. He shrugged, wishing she would leave, but also wishing she would say something smart. He knew she could do it, he was a little tense, would she figure something out?

“You- Do you know anything about this? Nobody else will tell me! But you have to!” 

_ Dear Diary, I am a very stupid man. Stupid in the sense that no matter how much I hate kids, there are always a couple of things that cause me to get tangled up in their antics. I can’t not keep my promises to them, There’s nothing more damaging than lying to them, it breeds trust issues, among other things. Yet I can’t see them hurting, and not offer to help. Despite the fact that I do not care what happens to them, something in me moves on it’s own. And suddenly I've become a source of nurture. And two, I can’t stop losing bets with them. I don’t know how they do it, especially this one.  _

“Right, right-” Clive said, thinking for a second about what to tell her. “Well- If she isn’t the killer, and once we thought she was a suspect she went missing, then- ah-” He struggled for a second, “ Maybe it’s the real killer, trying to tell us something-?” 

_ It most certainly was not. I had just stripped and gagged an innocent woman, and she now lay naked in a humid storage house somewhere, occasionally being given an electric shock. I didn’t know whether or not she deserved it at the time, but now I had to kill her regardless. _

Flora gasped, “Like- you mean- in the shows about serial killers where the killer is really smart!?” she asked. Clive … hesitantly nodded. She had caused him to forget what he was doing before she came in here. “Well, we only told people in the police force about the suspect, so that would mean it’s one of … us …” 

_ I wish I could have gone back in time to this very moment, and kick myself in the nuts for opening her mind up to the idea of me being some hyper intelligent supervillain. It would have made things much easier if I could keep my mouth shut, and learn to ignore her … but I couldn’t.  _

Clive sighed, and Flora gasped. “It’s you! Isn’t it?! You’re the killer! Moooom!!” She yelled, and just like that … she was gone. Well, she wasn’t wrong, but she shouldn’t jump to conclusions like that. Clive was pretty sure she just … hated him or something. Yet she was always around, maybe it was because he humored her, instead of doing what everyone else did … which was locking their doors and ignoring her. But- that seemed a little neglectful, no? Rather cruel. She just wants to be a part of something, Clive began to stress a little, He needed to just admit that he was emotionally attached. He’d known her all her life, held her when she was a baby, Of course he wouldn’t just shut her out … but he needed to if he was gonna get anything done. 

He sighed, opening the drawer. He was gonna go on his break soon, so he may as well leave her a mystery to crack. 

Almost as soon as he did, she burst back into the room, and shut the door. She looked like she’d seen a ghost … 

“Who did you make mad this time?” Clive asked, and She huffed, “This is your fault!”

**“Flora come out of there!”**

“You’re going to hit me!” She whined, running behind Clive’s chair. “Sounds like you pissed off Alfendi, what did you say?” 

“I didn’t say anything! I knocked on his door and he started chasing me!” She said, moving under his desk … He sighed, and the door opened. 

“ **Where is she** ”

Clive … adjusted his glasses. “Jumped out he window” 

“She- what?! You let her jump out the window?!” 

“What? This is a ground level building- She’s probably just gonna walk back in though the front door-” Clive said, and Alfendi sighed. He was a forensics scientist, and he was very very very busy. He also hated kids, no acceptions. Alfendi stared at him, skeptical of his claim. He walked over to the window, and opened it, looking around … 

“ Tell your daughter to sit down somewhere! She knocked over a tube- I have blood on my floor now!” 

“Not my kid, and sure thing” 

“She basically is, All she ever does is follow you around, you two are like best friends-” 

“No, I'm not!” Flora said, coming out from under the desk. Clive sighed, “you- ugh-” He mumbled, watching her immediately get picked up by Alfendi. He was probably gonna go threaten to dunk her in the dumpster or something, and then casually explain, “Hey. Technically, we aren't supposed to tell you anything. So stop. Please. Before we all get fired.” 

Well … Back to work, only, he still couldn’t remember what he was doing. He looked at the clock, noticing that it was a few minutes fast, compared to his watch … oh, right. He left early the other day. Nobody had even said anything … 

_ I think this may be where my habit of evading the law began. The thought that some simple loophole could be used to my advantage, repeatedly, without anyone caring. Something as simple as leaving work early … I had to take advantage of it.  _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


…

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Clive looked around the department store, everything from flowers to fertilizer was here. Clive had already gathered the stuff he wanted, texting Luke as he waited for the cashier to ring up his stuff. 

_ As I stood there, I couldn’t stop thinking about how my impulsivity was going to cause me to exterminate an innocent life … but I couldn’t shake the feeling that this whole thing was wrong. Before I went to that bar, I made myself sure that she was the right person .. and yet she wasn’t. Though, I was so sure … and then it hit me. She could have escaped. She escaped and decided to stay missing so that I couldn’t find her. That’s all I could think of.  _

Clive had been so lost in thought that he hadn’t heard the cashier telling him his total. He shook his head, “Sorry, I- ah-” He mumbled, swiping his card. 

“ … “ The cashier just stared for a second, a pimple faced teen who looked … tired. 

“Bruh … it declined-” He said slowly, and Clive just looked at him. “Are you high?” 

“ … No, of course … not, um… try it again dude-”

_ The kid was stoned, he looked like he could barely open his eyes. I couldn’t be too upset at him, he was young, and I still do it from time to time … but on a job? Annoying … _

“ Dang, it Declined again-” 

“That’s impossible- I just got paid, this is a debit card-” 

“Sad, man- you gotta put all that stuff back …” 

“ … You’re high as a kite, aren’t you?”

“Hell yea man … I mean, No- hold on- You tricked me! Not cool-” 

Clive sighed, “Listen, I need this stuff, How about I make you a deal. I can get you some weed in exchange for it-” 

“ … are you a narc?” 

“No i’m not a narc-” Clive said. Well, he was a cop, but not really one with any respect for the law. The war on drugs was a dumb one, in his opinion.

“ … how much weed? And what about some snacks-” 

“ uh … god- just- a zip- and whatever snacks you want, how does that sound?” 

“ … uh- how much is a zip?”

“  _ You don’t know how much a zip is?” _

“Dude I don’t do transactions and stuff I just get it from a friend.” 

“ … Do you live with your mom?”

“Yea, why?”

“Does she use Ziploc bags?”

“Yea dude-”

“Okay, Imagine a Ziploc bag, about this big. Full of weed. As in, suffed,  _ packed _ with it.” Clive said … The kid stared at him, Clive was getting a little impatient. 

“Alright … When are you gonna have it back? And don’t tell my boss-” 

“ Kid- I-” Clive sighed. “ Give me- three days, alright?”

“Nice, can you get like- a family sized bag of Doritos- the red bag-”

“Yeah- I-”

“And just- cotton candy Faygo? Like a lot of it- I love that stuff-”

“ … Yeah- So- I’m gonna go- I’ll be back in three days-” Clive said, slowly pushing the cart away. “ stop smoking on the job-” He said, and the kid shrugged. Clive sighed, he wasn’t gonna listen, whatever. 

_ I had no idea why I didn’t realize I was using a gift card that whole time and not my actual card. I was just as distracted as he was. I went about my day, and went home. I could barely wait until tonight, and I could barely wait to get home to Luke.  _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


…

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Luke sat in the backyard, laying on the grass, looking up at the sky. He was a little bored, playing around with the pretty necklace Clive had given him. It matched this white dress that he had, a sort of transparent, a soft dress with puffy sleeves, and a flowing skirt. It was comfortable, along with a pair of sandals and a couple other things Clive had brought home before he went to the store. Luke had just been laying here, looking up at the sky, occasionally falling asleep. He sat up when he felt something crawl across his hand, and he looked down to see a snail, worming its way onto his arm.

“ … oh- hello there-” Luke said, lifting the creature up to his face, He observed it, but got a little distracted as Clive opened up the back door. Luke immediately stood, “Clivee!! I planted the tomatoes in the ground but we can put flowers in the pots for the front yard can’t we?” He said, running right up to Clive, who dropped all the stuff he’d gotten onto the grass. “Sure- but- wouldn’t you rather have the flowers somewhere where you can see them?” Clive said, and Luke hummed. “I can always look out the window, or am I still not allowed to do that, but also- Look at this snail I found! Isn’t it cute?” Luke said, lifting his arm. Clive flinched away, “a-ah .. I see- uh- it sure is-” He awkwardly said. 

Luke watched him react … and he lifted his arm closer, growing amused as Clive moved away. 

“Are you scared?”

“N-no! It’s just a snail-”

“You wanna hold it?”

“No way! Luke stop that!” Clive whined, running away from him. Luke chased after him, “It’s really cute! It won’t hurt you! I promise!” He said, a mischievous smile on his face as he held the snail out. He demanded that Clive touch it, feel how cold it was, and Clive refused, ducking and dodging Luke and his snail friend. Luke stopped suddenly, panting a little, tired from running, “Okaay! I’m putting it down so we can hug!” Luke said to Clive, who was cowering by the door, getting ready to go inside if he dared bring the snail over to him. Luke watched the snail slowly crawl away, and he ran over to Clive, jumping into his arms. 

“I can’t believe you’re scared of a little garden bug-!” Luke said, and Clive blushed ever so slightly. “Snails are creepy!” He whined, hugging Luke close. Luke started to fall asleep again, Being held like a baby in Clive’s arms. 

“You’re creepy … But I love you- gimme a kiss-” He said, and Clive kissed his cheek. “You need a nap-” He said, and Luke nodded. 

_ I ended up leaving everything inside, and laying down on the couch with Luke. We both slept like cats under a big blanket, the only time we got up was for food, Luke was cuddled up to me, i’d never been more relaxed, I just wanted to lay there with him on my chest forever … but I knew I needed to leave eventually.  _

…

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


_ We were having a staring contest, I think. She woke up, and said nothing, just stared at me, so I stared back. I had been prepping the area to remove blood splatter. I could see her bottom lip quivering, and for a moment, I began to wonder if her stare was actually supposed to be a look of pleading. I wouldn’t have been able to tell, to me it just looked like she wanted to play the no blinking game, hence why I stared back for so long before I finally spoke up. _

“You-”

_ And then she began screaming … so I stood there, listening to her scream, cry, and choke on her own tears … and then she said something very interesting. _

“I- I wasn’t going to kill you! I wasn't! I’m done! I quit!” She began yelling … so, was this our suspect? 

“I … See-” Clive said, grabbing a chair. He walked up to the side of the table, and sat down, propping the mop up against it. She nodded, breathing hard, in a state of panic. “ I swear-” She said, and Clive looked down, thinking about it for a second … “ So, why were you killing people?” He asked, and she gave him a guilt ridden look. “I just … I- I can’t say it-” She said. Clive shrugged, “why not?” 

“I don’t want to upset you anymore than I probably already have-” 

“ … I’m not mad at you, I don’t even know who you are. All I know is that you kill people, and I kill people who kill people, But- Occasionally, I’m nice if we can have a good conversation about it …” He said, and she began to cry. 

“ … All the men I killed were in positions of power, If they were women I would have killed them too, In short, I took their jobs, I replaced them …” 

Clive … sat there for a moment … and then he smiled, “that’s pretty smart- actually-” He said.

“It’s just a coincidence that they’re all men- well, it’s probably not- but that’s another issue altogether-” She said. “Is that how you made all that money?” Clive asked, and she nodded … 

Well, at least she didn’t give a fifty year speech about how men were the scum of the earth deserving of the harshest fires of hell- though, he wasn’t sure if that was the entire truth. “ Well- Then I guess that would make your claim that you weren’t going to kill me true, but I doubt you were actually taking me home-” 

“ I- I was- Okay- Look.” She said, taking a breath. “ You freaked me the fuck out, how did you know my name? I thought you might have known what I was doing- So I was gonna dump you somewhere far away- just get you lost, with no way back.” 

“I see-” 

“I didn’t see any point in killing you- it would have been a waste of time- but now I wished I would have ..” 

“ … you’d kill me if you could go back?” 

“Yeah - T-Tell me how you knew my name!” 

“ … Coincidence.” Clive said, “You’d kill me for guessing?” 

“ … I- I guess not, but how can I be sure? You could be a liar, after all- what is all of this?!” She said, looking around the room. “And why’d you kidnap me? You probably deserve to die!” She said … Clive sighed, and debated telling her the truth … 

“I kidnapped you because I have an obsession with balance, order, equality- and you have a very symmetrical face …  _ I want to split it in half, and put it in two separate jars, so that I can look at it, preserve it. You also have very straight teeth- I want those too, for my collection _ ” 

“Y-you-” 

“So where should I start? I was thinking, I pull your teeth out first, then I cut you down the middle- Then maybe, depending on how long you live for- I can see if your body is reflected on both sides, to see if you have true bilateral symmetry-” 

“Sick!” 

“Or … I could just leave you here- it gets boring, and you can slowly starve to death-” Clive said. 

“ … I- I don’t wanna be cut open-” 

“ well then, you’ll be here for a while. When you do die, i’m still going to cut you open- or who knows- maybe i’ll get bored of you-” He said, getting up. “Now- where to put you, somewhere out of the way, If I had a cage i’d use it- OH- I guess I should ensure you don’t escape, sorry, I may have to break your arms and legs, but you’ll survive-” 

“You, what?! Please don’t! I won’t hurt anyone else!” 

“That wont undo what you already did.” 

“ please! Please- i- i’ll give you the names of the others! There are more involved! It’s not just me!” 

_ Exactly what I was looking for, She ended up telling me a few different names, and giving me information to disable the security to her house. Perfect … Needless to say, We talked a little more after I strung her up on the wall, and she told me all sorts of interesting information. Just about everything that I needed to know to put a stop to the whole thing on my own. Apparently, the people in question were men and women who all sought positions of power, they were … sort of a cult. A ‘get money, fuck over the rich’ cult … but they themselves were rich, so, I feel as though it would have ended in self destruction either way.  _

“ Why are you doing this?” She asked, looking pretty dead inside as Clive began putting his tools back into the bag. “ … I don’t agree that you should kill people in positions of power, there are other ways to steal their jobs. If you want the job, that's fair, I believe work is made to be a competitive thing … but killing them won’t even ensure you get it. Honestly, I already knew who you were before I went looking-” 

“I knew it!”

“But I wanted to know for myself why you did it … I also want to cut you in half, like I said-” Clive picked up his bag. “ I don’t waste time talking to normal people, they never have anything interesting to say. People like you, people like me, we’re the interesting ones. Only, some of us make a bad name for the others. You make a bad name for murderers … but really, I just- really wanna cut you in half! I love the fact that your body is identical on both sides! I can’t wait for you to die- honestly.” Clive said, and she looked at him, disturbed. “Well, I have to go home- My husband will wake up if I leave him for too long-” 

“Please don’t leave!- I … wait- h-husband?” 

“ yeah- a little short guy, he’s so cute- I think i’m only alive because of him …” 

“ … you love someone? But you do stuff like this-” 

“Just because I kill people, that doesn’t mean I’m insane, or incapable of love. I can love people just as much as you can …” Clive said, getting tired of the stigma surrounding murderers. Murderers are just people who kill people, that’s it. 

_ So I left- and she stayed put. I’m sure she’ll escape, as I left the ropes loose on purpose. I’m a little bored, a fight sounds like fun. I wonder what Luke would think of me if he knew what I was up to … When I got home, he had been waiting for me. He stood at the door, and hit me in my arm, before demanding that I come back to bed. He didn’t ask where I was, he just went right back to sleep. I held him as close as I could … honestly, sometimes I do question my feelings for him, but I always arrive at the same conclusion. That I really do love him, because I don’t know what i’d do without him.  _

Clive stared at the journal … before tossing it onto the night stand. He still wasn’t sure if it was helping or not … the urges, the ones he was trying to get rid of.

_ Dear Diary, I want to be a better person. I think it’s time to admit the real reason i’m writing this … My urge to kill is blind, to put it short, I want everyone dead. I don’t know why, but I feel … good, after taking a life. That isn’t a problem on it’s own, I can use that to do good things, like I've been doing. But … it becomes a problem, when the one I want to hurt the most, is the one I love. The boy in my arms every night, I want to do terrible things to him … but I don’t, because I love him, and I  _ **_need_ ** _ him.  _

_ I just want it all to stop. I don’t have infinite willpower. One day I’ll fail, but I’m writing this to prevent that … because I want to be a better person.  _

He buried his head in Luke’s shoulder, and tried to go to sleep. The silence of the night seemed to whisper temptation into his ears, but he ignored it. He chose to think about the cute little flower growing on the desk instead, he chose to think about all the nice things Luke did. Luke was soft, Luke smelled good, he was warm, comforting, a light, scaring away his darkness, so he held onto it as tight as he could. That’s what you do with hope, right? You hold on, and no matter what, you don't let go ...


End file.
